Mothers: 3 Ways to Find Balance and Keep the Magic Alive During the Holidays (for Your Children AND Yourself!)
I don’t know about you, but lately I’ve been exhausted. Motherhood is tiring. The holidays are tiring. It’s easy to forget about yourself in the mix, miss out on the joy and magic, and end up completely depleted.
It’s the time of year when nature wants us to curl up inside, in front of a warm and cozy fire, snuggling up with a book and a hot chocolate. Instead, many of us find ourselves in a mad frenzy to create a Christmas that is “perfect” for our families, and sometimes for visiting relatives too.
It’s easy to spread yourself too thin and end up exhausted and missing out on the spirit of the season and all the joy that is possible (but it is possible for you too! Read on...)
We’ve all been there as mothers. You desperately, desperately need a break from your kids. Just a little you-time to recharge.
Your mind wanders to a spa weekend away, a romantic dinner out with your partner, even a couple extra hours in the morning to sleep in. A beautiful dream, right? But you recognize that you-time is just not in the cards right now... ☹☹☹☹
Before having children I took pretty good care of my own needs. When I had free time, I more or less did what I wanted, when I wanted to.
When I had my first child, everything changed. Suddenly, his needs came first- which was a bit of a shock! And people stopped asking how I was doing...it became all about my baby.
Do you feel like you’ve lost yourself now that you’re a mom? Have you given up on most of the things you used to do, let go of what you used to love, and have trouble remembering who you used to be?
Really, really common mamas.
When your focus shifts to being all about your baby, it’s hard to remember who you were.
But it’s still in there, you are still there. You are still you, yet you are transformed.
Anxiety is a really big one for many mothers, especially new moms.
It might feel like a huge weight on your shoulders when you become responsible for a little life for the first time, and the worries and the fears just keep on coming.
Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash
Do you feel alone as a mother? Are you desperately wanting to have more connection and support in your life, but not sure how to go about getting it?
It’s become the norm that so many moms feel isolated and lonely. This is especially true for new moms on maternity leave who are home alone a lot of the time with their baby.
Maybe your husband/partner is supportive. That’s wonderful! But is something still missing? A yearning for a community of women who really understand the beauty and the struggles of what it means to be a mother.
Do you ever feel alone in your struggles as a mom, like you're the only one treading water through the day?
Are you propping your eyes open with toothpicks because you only had a few hours of sleep last night? Quickly whisking your tantruming toddler out of the grocery store before anyone notices? Sometimes just barely holding on to your sanity as you attempt to make a meal with children hanging off of you? Afraid you’re making a total mess of your children?
Everyone has it SOOO much more together than you... RIGHT?
Did you go into motherhood with expectations?
Maybe you imagined days filled with joy and laughter as you snuggled with your sweet newborn and marveled at how she was growing and changing.
And what you actually got were long days filled with frustration and exhaustion while dealing with a colicky baby who barely slept.
Maybe you imagined you would breastfeed into toddlerhood… but instead you struggled with milk supply and only managed to breastfeed for 4 months.
Are you a new mom feeling resentment towards your husband/partner for not contributing as much as you'd like?
Maybe he's not rolling up his sleeves and being as involved of a daddy as you'd dreamed of, or maybe he’s spending a lot of time away from the house...
So how can you get him to change more diapers, hold baby more often, spend more time at home with you?
It’s so easy to become a martyr mom. Your baby is born and then it’s like you forget about yourself…
Shower? When you can fit it in.
Make-up? What’s that?
Doing the things you used to love that bring you joy. Huh? No longer part of your vocabulary.
Does this sound like you? It’s all too common to focus entirely on your baby and forget you have needs too.
Katherine Aucoin, Motherhood Counsellor
Hi Mamas! My name is Katherine and I'm a motherhood counsellor and a mom to two little boys. I'm here to offer tools, insights and support to help you be the best mom you can be for your children AND yourself.