Moms are notoriously hard on themselves. That critical voice often leads to mom guilt where it NEVER feels like you’re doing enough. You could read all the parenting books, practice all the techniques, bend over backwards in a thousand ways and mom guilt would still be there telling you that you need to do more.
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What's your relationship with your emotions? Do you stuff them down, telling yourself you're fine? Or do you distract, avoid or numb out by turning to your phone, t.v., busyness or a couple of glasses of wine after dinner? These are all common ways people "deal" with emotions because most of have never been taught how to truly work through them in a healthy way!
Do you ever feel alone in your struggles as a mom, like you're the only one treading water through the day?
Are you propping your eyes open with toothpicks because you only had a few hours of sleep last night? Quickly whisking your tantruming toddler out of the grocery store before anyone notices (ha, ha like that's possible)? Sometimes just barely holding on to your sanity as you attempt to make a meal with children hanging off of you? Afraid you’re making a total mess of your children because you can see your own messy childhood coming through in your parenting? Everyone has it SOOO much more together than you... RIGHT? As mothers, we want to give our children the world. It's culturally acceptable to self-sacrifice to the point of exhaustion, depletion and burnout. And we tell ourselves we're doing it for them. But are we?
Anxiety is a really big one for many mothers, especially new moms.
It might feel like a huge weight on your shoulders when you become responsible for a little life for the first time, and the worries and the fears just keep on coming. Most moms I work with see the connection between their own self-care and the energy and presence they have to give their children, partners, work and other important things and people in their lives. ⠀
⠀ But there's still a block. Your life is FULL. Chock-a-block with raising children, taking care of the house and all the emotional labour that comes along with motherhood, and possibly working outside the home too. I get it, I really do. My life feels super full, too. You're exhausted and it's hard to find the energy to get to a yoga class or go for a run or cook a healthy meal. I understand. I feel that way sometimes too. ⠀ I don’t know about you, but lately I’ve been exhausted. Motherhood is tiring. The holidays are tiring. It’s easy to forget about yourself in the mix, miss out on the joy and magic, and end up completely depleted.
It’s the time of year when nature wants us to curl up inside, in front of a warm and cozy fire, snuggling up with a book and a hot chocolate. Instead, many of us find ourselves in a mad frenzy to create a Christmas that is “perfect” for our families, and sometimes for visiting relatives too. It’s easy to spread yourself too thin and end up exhausted and missing out on the spirit of the season and all the joy that is possible (but it is possible for you too! Read on...) This week I'm in the thick of motherhood...dealing with sick kids! My youngest coughing all night, broken sleep (for him AND me!), cranky moods (theirs and mine), worry (mine), everyone at home all day long getting on each other's last nerve. Can you relate? Ahhh, the joys of cold and flu season as a mother!
And everything is on hold. Work, life, self-care (fortunately/unfortunately my husband is home sick too which is why I'm able to write this to you!) I'm having to remind myself of some important mindset tips and tools to get myself through this time, and I thought I'd share them with you for when the inevitable "everything is on hold while I deal with sick kids" week hits your house. We’ve all been there as mothers. You desperately, desperately need a break from your kids. Just a little you-time to recharge.
Your mind wanders to a spa weekend away, a romantic dinner out with your partner, even a couple extra hours in the morning to sleep in. A beautiful dream, right? But you recognize that you-time is just not in the cards right now... ☹☹☹☹ Photo by Inna Lesyk on Unsplash
Do you love the idea of taking better care of yourself, but you're just not quite sure how given how darn busy you are? You're not alone. I get how hard it can be. The good news is... self-care doesn't need to take a long time or be hard to fit into your schedule. What I'm going to suggest to you doesn't require childcare and you can do it with your kids right there. You can do it anytime, anywhere and it is proven to lift your mood. |
Katherine Aucoin,
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