Mothers: 3 Ways to Find Balance and Keep the Magic Alive During the Holidays (for Your Children AND Yourself!)
I don’t know about you, but lately I’ve been exhausted. Motherhood is tiring. The holidays are tiring. It’s easy to forget about yourself in the mix, miss out on the joy and magic, and end up completely depleted.
It’s the time of year when nature wants us to curl up inside, in front of a warm and cozy fire, snuggling up with a book and a hot chocolate. Instead, many of us find ourselves in a mad frenzy to create a Christmas that is “perfect” for our families, and sometimes for visiting relatives too.
It’s easy to spread yourself too thin and end up exhausted and missing out on the spirit of the season and all the joy that is possible (but it is possible for you too! Read on...)
This week I'm in the thick of motherhood...dealing with sick kids! My youngest coughing all night, broken sleep (for him AND me!), cranky moods (theirs and mine), worry (mine), everyone at home all day long getting on each other's last nerve. Can you relate? Ahhh, the joys of cold and flu season as a mother!
And everything is on hold. Work, life, self-care (fortunately/unfortunately my husband is home sick too which is why I'm able to write this to you!) I'm having to remind myself of some important mindset tips and tools to get myself through this time, and I thought I'd share them with you for when the inevitable "everything is on hold while I deal with sick kids" week hits your house.
We’ve all been there as mothers. You desperately, desperately need a break from your kids. Just a little you-time to recharge.
Your mind wanders to a spa weekend away, a romantic dinner out with your partner, even a couple extra hours in the morning to sleep in. A beautiful dream, right? But you recognize that you-time is just not in the cards right now... ☹☹☹☹
Photo by Inna Lesyk on Unsplash
Do you love the idea of taking better care of yourself, but you're just not quite sure how given how darn busy you are? You're not alone. I get how hard it can be.
The good news is... self-care doesn't need to take a long time or be hard to fit into your schedule. What I'm going to suggest to you doesn't require childcare and you can do it with your kids right there. You can do it anytime, anywhere and it is proven to lift your mood.
In my experience, many, many, MANY moms are hard on themselves. Are you one of them?
Put down the stick, mama.
It doesn’t help your children. It certainly doesn’t help you. Perhaps it’s just underneath your awareness- that judgemental voice that drives you to an impossible standard of perfection.
How do they do it all? How do other moms manage? Why can’t I manage? Why is motherhood so hard for me?
I hear variations of the above questions OFTEN from my clients. What I hear them asking is why am I the only one struggling with motherhood? Why do other moms seem to have it all together? What is WRONG with me? Why can’t I hack it as a mother? Why is my life such a great big mess and that other mom seems to have a perfect life?
There’s a belief that other moms must be well-rested, go to the gym regularly, have perfectly behaved children, never feel overwhelmed, stressed, exhausted or at their breaking point.
But the truth is ALL mothers struggle, at least some of the time.
Photo by William Stitt on Unsplash
Many, many mothers of young children struggle.
Are you one of them? Do you feel in your bones how hard it is, but have trouble admitting it, even to yourself?
Do you feel like you need to put on a brave face and show the world you have it all together… but underneath the surface there are big feelings simmering that (even you) are barely aware of...
It used to be that everyone decided on their New Year's Resolutions this time of year. Then most people realized that they weren't keeping their resolutions even into February... so now the trend is to set New Year's Intentions.
This is a trend I can get behind and something I've done myself for the last few years. It's not about hitting the gym, or losing weight, or making more money. It's more about your overarching experience of your year to come.
Before having children I took pretty good care of my own needs. When I had free time, I more or less did what I wanted, when I wanted to.
When I had my first child, everything changed. Suddenly, his needs came first- which was a bit of a shock! And people stopped asking how I was doing...it became all about my baby.
Do you feel like you’ve lost yourself now that you’re a mom? Have you given up on most of the things you used to do, let go of what you used to love, and have trouble remembering who you used to be?
Really, really common mamas.
When your focus shifts to being all about your baby, it’s hard to remember who you were.
But it’s still in there, you are still there. You are still you, yet you are transformed.